did you know that mother's day was created by a woman named anna jarvis? after marking the second year of her mother's passing, she crusaded for a holiday to recognize mother. her wish was granted in 1914 when a national holiday was established. she became so discourage soon after due to the almost immediate commercialization, that she and her sister spent their entire fortune fighting against the holiday. her life ended in 1948, penniless and childless, never having been honored for the same day she helped create.
european christians used to honor mothers during the fourth sunday in lent stemming from the reading that sunday from the book of galatians. some faiths would bake cakes while others would collect flowers for the mothers in the congregation. others would celebrate "mother church" by encircling the building while holding hands and then embracing the building.
in roman times, families celebrated matronales feriae honoring juno, the goddess of childbirth. it literally was a time for roman women to let their hair down in opposition to the socitial norm. gifts were generally exchanged and prayers were offered up in the mother's honor in their respective shrines and temples.
the anient greeks created the festival of hilaria which was celebrated during the vernal equuinox to honor cybele, the mountain mother, a symbol of fertility and motherhood. while not much is know of the celebration, mothers were honored during this time. the festival carried over into roman times.
and now you know more than you ever wanted to know about mother's day...
the darkness crept in slowly overhead
the skies filled a deep sea of black
blanketing all the land below
the only light, a bolt of lightning
i sit alone in this room
starring out the window
wondering where you are...
feeling so alone...
so, this week i am on furlough... for those of you who have not ever had the good fortune of receiving a furlough, then you will not know exactly what it means in the business place... it means, you don't get paid for the week... that's right... unpaid leave... this comes on the heals of my trying to pay down a lot of debt, so needless to say, i'm pretty fucked! fucked like a sex slave... except the sex slave probably gets paid at least a little bit... they got to look good after all...
anywho, i'm heading down to florida to spend a week hopefully reconnecting with friends and meeting some new ones... i'll be waxing professional and polishing my florida contacts... but i'm pretty much locked into atlanta for the next year and personally i like it here...
i now have $200 in my pocket, which starting tuesday will start getting smaller and smaller... i will be try to be doing a low budget trip to florida during spring break on $200... i feel like a college student...
i thought while i was down there, i'd whore myself out for drinks and some spending cash... yeah, right!
after that, i won't have any money for 3 whole weeks... no joke! it's all bills... and some of them aren't even paid yet... yikes!
so, i'm fucked... fucked royally... and damn it, i need someone to buy me some some shots so i can forget all my economic blues...
the dreams that made up of the shadows past... will never stop haunting us... so, we are forced to live each day... as if we were the person we were before... the present died...
always a breathe and heartbeat away from death... slash into my flesh... when the blood stops flowing, you'll know i'm dead... until then celebrate... celebrate that which can never be forsaken... life... my life... your life... our lives!
you're nothing by mythology
spinning around in my head
i pretend to be happy
and you think i'm happy
i pretend to be sad
and you think i'm sad
all while you pretend not to care
palm lined roads
skipping out on life
with each other
you are my greatest myth
neither truth nor mystery
still spurring emotion year after year
i fear being in that place
my anger boils over 'cause of you
my heart hurts from your thought
i visit here to overcome you
my greatest myth...
driving down palm lined drives
skipping out on responsibilities
not much of company
you are still my greatest myth
neither truth nor mystery
your legend deepens as time progresses
i forget all the real emotion
replace it with the shell you left me
what it all should feel like instead of what it was
all that life gives me is nil compared
to the greatest myth of you...
long drives down palm lined boulevards
skipping out, stepping out, leaving reality behind
arm in arm, our thoughts are our company
you will always be my greatest myth
neither truth, nor mystery, only legend
not much should i ponder
but always buried to this day...
i struggle to break free of chains
that tied me down to you
the greatest of all myths...
i've spent the past 7 years of my life in regret for the rest of my life... or should i say, i've spent trying to make up for the regret i have for that time... and yet, i've always lived in the past... but longing for the future... how do do i live in the now? and still long for ther future? and make up for the past?
must i continue to make up for the sins of the past? must i continue to regret that i can not see my future? must i look as if now is the time i bid between the past and future?
sometimes i seriously wonder where i am? what time do i live in? where do i belong? what's my purpose? am i small or do i live for a greater good? do i live for love?
can i ever just accept that i am lost and need to stay lost?
you grew worried when i said that you did not complete me
the emptiness of my heart does not mean i am incomplete
i am whole
you are whole
our hearts are split in two
blood pumps through both
but never touches inside
pumping through
working together
as you
as me
as one
one us
i never knew that she would be her
in full masquerade she walked, no
no, she slowly sauntered toward me
i notice bead of sweat under my mask
who is this goddess that notices me?
her gold mask wrapped tightly
my eyes traced the details
like an elegant butterfly
until i reach her grayish blue eyes
and i have to blink to come around
is her hair copper, no auburn
i can't tell in this low light
wrapped in a gold spiral otherwise
it would be flowing around her shoulders
her black dress shows ever curve...
could it be? it was not just a... dream?
there's no dialogue in this part
just a slow song by the band
i bow to her and extend my hand
taking it she curtsies
and lead her to the floor
as we dance she slowly melts
the light is just right now
details come slightly in focus
the freckles on her shoulder
they betray her identity
does she know who i really am?
does she know i longed for this?
does she hear my heart beating?
can she hear my thoughts?
can she see through me?
before this moment there was time
breathe, wind, light, dark
before this moment there was nothing
darkness, emptiness, longing
there's no other moment than now
the receptionist answers the phones
pleasantries exchanged and call transferred
he looks forward over his cubical towards her
he only sees the back of her hair
but she's beautiful, perfect in every way
he longs to be the one she watches
she looks forward over her cubical towards him
she only sees his back as he reaches for the phone
but he's handsome, perfect in every way
she longs to be the one he watches
he looks out the window at her driving
making plans with her for later
she's perfect in every way for him
he longs for the clock to move forward
the receptionist takes in the tableaux
and knows that no one watches her
dancing with the devil offers a night
she smiles and sleeps through the day
get rid of her horns...
look at her blemished face...
see her endless sadness...
she's an expert of beds...
nothing more!
she trades facial expressions for sentiment...
walking through her bedroom veil...
sweet perfume draws you close...
nothing beats!
but i'm an expert of hearts...
i walked away...
back to my heart...
back to life...
back to vitality...
i might be stuck ever searching...
on the adventure of my lifetime...
but i'm happy knowing i've searched.
she can only ponder what i have.
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